This is my first blog in over a year...
My sister, who has always encouraged me to do things that make me happy, helped me set this up....and I hope you enjoy it! Posted before this entry are some from the past and dated as such...but from here on out only titles will be listed.
I often wonder at what point the trajectory in life we once wanted for ourselves slips through our fingers? We find ourselves, a year or two later, in a place we never thought we'd be, seemingly off-track.....completely different (or at least changed).....a bit helpless and unsure of ourselves. This has happened to me a few times now in my short 26 years on this earth....and I cannot help but wonder where and when we veer of track and succumb to what's easy and give up seeking what inspires us?
No one is perfect.
And, in some ways, people who say they are totally happy with their lives probably aren’t. It’s an act. An act we put on to justify the path in life we have chosen that had led us to this point. If you’re extremely wealthy, you’re probably lacking the love of your life. If you’re hopelessly in love, you may use that as an excuse to ignore the job you have that you hate. If you have your dream job, you somehow justify not making any money because at least you are happy. It’s a vicious cycle of excuses where we’ve all settled for half of a whole….and given up on what’s missing because at least we have something---and shouldn’t I be happy I have that when some have nothing?
I’ve often said I wanted to grow older in an effort to figure out all of the ‘mess’ as I have outlined above. For some reason, I associate age with wisdom and the ability to sort through it all, put it in perspective, sift through the bullshit. But age doesn’t make a difference at all. Take relationships. Most older people who are not in them may cite the reason for this as being too busy with work or happier by themselves when the truth is…they don’t know how to function as part of a team. Depending on someone else scares them…..admitting they care about someone scares them…..and so they run behind their perfect job, wealth, etc. Still, they are missing something. They succumb to what’s easy….what they have known forever…and not what could potentially inspire them to be better or a more complete person.
Life is hard. A choice made one day can affect your entire life and set off a chain of events that can set you on the path to what’s easy or on the path that inspires you to be the best and most complete you.
Things are changing.
Motives are changing.
Angles are changing.
Words are changing.
Tears are changing.
Love is changing.
As I sit here on this humid summer night I cannot help but wonder, at what point do we lose control?